Open
by Make A Choice
Summary: Bella and Edward have an open marriage. What happens when only one of them is taking full advantage of this "gift" while the other is left alone?
1. Disclaimer

**Open © Make a Choice, 2010

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**First off, let's get things straight.**

**I AM NOT STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**I am only a fan that loves her characters.**

**The only thing I own is this story line, but she holds all rights to **

**the characters in this story that are affiliated with the Twilight Series.**

**This disclaimer applies to the entire story**

**:.:.:.:.:**

On to the prologue…

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Enjoy :)


	2. P R O L O G U E

**Open © Make a Choice, 2010

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_Written by Make a Choice_

_Edited by Alice Cullen223_

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**P R O L O G U E**

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Do you remember me?

Do you know my face?

Do you still love me?

_If only…_ I thought to myself. They were questions that deserved answers. Not only deserved, but needed, craved, desired…but the reality is these are just words on a piece of paper. They only become meaningful if I give them meaning.

Is she pretty?

Do you love her?

Are you happy?

The blue pen clicked methodically against my wooden desk; in-out, in-out. I refused to admit it, but I was waiting. I told myself I wouldn't, but yet here I am sitting at my desk while the clock read something clear past three o'clock am. My husband, my supporter, my everything, has made me a pathetic excuse for a human being. The one thing I had promised never to be.

Can we fix this?

Is it worth is?

Should we even try?

I smirk to myself as the darkness of the room escalates. The only light that shines out comes from the lamp on the far corner of my desk—a wedding gift from my mother in-law.

How will this end?

Who will it be?

Is this our exit?

The clock on the wall adds to the silent rhythm that the world creates as is spins in orbit, like it always does. Another day, another reality check.

I read the words on the paper, feeling as if they are somehow written in stone—these words becoming my new forever. I see more than feel the tear splash against the lined paper. Thunder claps in the sky and I find myself fighting an actual smile. My father, had it been fifteen years ago, would have commented, "The angels just hit a strike!" and I would roll my eyes with a grin. I miss those moments when people were just themselves and we all knew what that looked like.

But…we grow up, and realize that dreams are only figments of our imagination. We are thrown in to this world head first after floating on a cloud of fairytales and happy ending. Sooner rather than later we see the world for what it really is. No one is happy, they only pretend to be. Happiness isn't really. It is just a figment in our imaginations. We always want something we can't have, so we pretend to have it, if only for a second. But when it's all said and done, we realize that it is impossible to lie to ourselves. We are back to square one.

What sucks most is that I realize this. I'm no longer oblivious. Ignorance was bliss for the time I had it. Now I can see what I always tried to ignore. Tell me—what happens when you close that door with the intention of opening another only to see there are no more left? What happens when there isn't one more chapter at the end of the saga? What do you do when there aren't any more realistic options available? Nothing. You just sit and wait for something else to come along and spike your interest so you have something else to look forward to in your pathetic life. Thankfully, I have that spark. The only problem is that it isn't my husband.

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**Alright. For a full explanation as to why I am revamping the story please go to my blog. **

**Blog: (Link is also on my home page)**

**http:/ makeachoiceff (dot) blogspot (dot) com/ **

**It is highly suggested that you read this a second time to understand everything that is going on. And in case you're a little confused, this is set mid-story. Some sh** has gone down already by this point :) **

**REVIEW! and if you can't review because you already did previously, put your review on my blog page or shoot me an email :) I wanna hear from you**

**I hope you are ready for the ride.**

**Happy Black Friday!**

_Make a Choice_


	3. CHAPTER ONE the beginning

**Open © Make a Choice, 2010

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_Written by Make a Choice_

_Edited by "__**Currently unedited"

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**C H A P T E R O N E**

the beginning

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_One step forward only to be pushed two steps back._

The pencil stopped. Not because I wanted it to, it just stop moving on its own accord. Well, the pencil is in my hand but I didn't want it to stop moving. What I mean is I didn't want it to stop…

I really should learn the art of sleeping.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wood of the desk. It felt nice; not cold but not hot, just cool and stiff. The support felt nice.

It is almost 5:30am. He will be waking up soon. He will open his eyes and see that I am not lying beside him. He will call out and I won't answer. He will stand up and make his rounds looking for me, because this isn't the first time he has woken up to nothing.

He is going to ask why I wasn't in bed, and I will say 'I just wanted to work a little.' He doesn't question this because he knows nothing about novels or writing. He is a doctor. And that is that.

I wonder if he will remember what day it is and if he will do or say anything. I wonder if he will remember, but just not say anything because there really isn't much to say. What's done is done, time has passed and this is where we are. The problem is, I have no clue where I stand.

Steps from a different foot push open the office door and Remy looks at me. His eyes ask a question while calling me an unmentionable name. Well, unmentionable for him because he is a dog and can't speak human.

"What?" I ask. Just because he can't speak it doesn't mean he doesn't understand it.

Remy paws at me like a dam cat and I roll my eyes. He notices and voices his opinion.

"Go ask Daddy." I turn back to my desk and stare at the paper. I lift my hand with the pencil and…continue to stare. Great.

Weight enters my lap and there is Remy and his big brown/blue eyes followed by a tail that swept my floor. "I know you don't need to potty. You just want the wooden door open so you can look outside. So as I said before, go ask Edward." I caress his head but look at the paper. I refuse to let puppy eyes affect me.

Then, inspiration hits and I'm glad that paper is near.

"_This is stupid and I don't like it." My arms are crossed against my chest and he is pretty much just pushing me in THAT direction._

_He chuckles and replies, "You're just nervous. You may like it. Just give it a try." He finished with a small smile. I knew I was pouting and I knew I was complaining, but I really don't give a shit. This is stupid and I don't want to do this. Fin._

"_When I pass out, cry and/or vomit in your lap don't say I didn't warn you." I shrug off his hands as we get into the line. My knees shook and my body is on the brink of convolution. Vendors lined the black ironed fence next to the contraption. Kids and teenagers, Adults and even one older couple could be seen with smiles covering their happy faces. A few of the kids with had ice cream in their hands or a balloon that would soon be lost in the atmosphere._

"_I can handle the passing out and crying, but the vomit…"his face looked disgusted. I really didn't care at that point. At least that's what he thought. "No thanks. Please keep it in here." He rubbed my stomach and I looked at him with wide, shocked eyes._

"_Did you just call me fat?" My voice was shocked and I even got a little teary eyed. Practice makes perfect. His eyes widened and I could tell that he was now on his toes. _

"_N-no…that's not at all what I was saying-"_

"_Really, then what was with the rubbing? Do you really think I needed you to point something like that out?" I turned my back to him and hid my grin._

"_No, No! Bella, I promise that I did not mean anything by it. I was just trying to be funny because you're freaking out on me." His voice shook and it was cute; heartwarming even. "That's all. I promise. You know that I love the way you look." He had twisted me around to speak to my face. I kept my head down. _

"_Then to make it up to me, we should go and find another ride." I tried to walk away, but unfortunately he was much quicker. _

"_Oh, no. You are not getting out of it that easily. By the way, that was a mean and dirty trick to pull." He said against my ear before continuing out loud. "Bella, please. Just try." Then he kissed my temple_

"_Edward, I don't like __heights__ and I don't like falling." I felt like such a nuisance, but I just couldn't help it. I just didn't want to do this. _

"_Bella, trust me you're going to enjoy it. Just relax and breathe." His arms came around my waist and against my pleas, I relaxed. But I'd never reveal that to him._

"_Yeah but-" screams and metal interrupts me, and my eyes widened. I watched as the loops filled and the carts sped. I think I'm gonna be sick. "I can't do this." I pulled his hands apart and attempted an escape. We weren't close the front at all, but I needed to get away. I felt woozy and way to light._

"_No." He pulled me back to his chest and I continued to struggle. "How do you know you are going to hate it if you've never done it?" I stopped my struggle and turned to face him. He looked beautiful, but it doesn't matter. Crazy hair and emerald eyes won't change my mind._

"_Let's see—I hate heights, and this involves heights; I hate falling, and there are a few twenty-ish foot drops here on this contraption; I hate speed, and I believe I have proved my point." _

"_Bella, please, for me? Just give it a try, one little try. If you hate it you can hold it above my head for the rest of our lives, deal?" He asked with a grin on his face. We were a lot closer; the next round would be our time. Dam. _

"_Fine. But if I'm a balling, disgusting mess I want to go home." I grinned despite my bone chilling fear for what was to come. Then I continued with more heartfelt words. "I'm sorry I'm so difficult. I don't mean to be-"_

"_I wouldn't have it any other way." _

_I reached onto my tippy toes and pecked his lips more than just once. He smiled against me and I followed suit. For some reason, I really love this asshole. _

"What are you doing up so early?" He asked, pushing the door open to see me sitting at my desk. I turned to face him and to respond. The sight before me caused a break in my words.

He looked dreadful. Beautiful, but dreadful. Sleep had formed in the corner of pink toned eyes. His hair looked like a catastrophe in the making; a level three going on ten. He wore the blue plaid pj pants I had gotten him last Christmas with just a basic white t-shirt. All of that looked amazing, but upon closer inspection I could already see what ailed him. His eyes were puffy with large bags beneath them as well. His skin looked translucent instead of just pale. His voice was clogged.

He's sick.

"You shouldn't go to work today." I said simply. He rolled his eyes at me, and it hurt like always.

"I'm fine. Now can you-"

"Edward, you're sick. You can't treat other sick people while you are in this condition." I said, standing up. Before he could interrupt, I continued. "Go back to bed. I'll make you some tea and dry toast, alright? I'll also call Carlisle and let him know." I brushed past him and left no room to argue. He huffed in annoyance and moments later I heard that closing of our bedroom door.

I picked up the phone from the counter and dialed the familiar number. Carlisle answered, I explained, he thanked me and I hung up. Done.

The tea kettle whistled loudly moments before I noticed something.

Remy never made it outside.

I walked into the room with a tray of medical goodies. Teas, toast and Tylenol. Edward sat on the bed with his paper scattered all over the bed; his glasses in place on the tip of his nose. I bit my tong as the comment was created.

I put the tray on the on the table by the window and turned to look at him. Mixed in with the patients reports where snot covered tissues that made me want to vomit.

"Edward." I said with my hands on my hips. It felt like a magnetic pull between my hands and hips. I truly had no control.

"What?" He bit towards me. I know it's just because he is sick. I know it is just because he probably is sore and tired. But that didn't diffuse the feelings created.

"I know you want to work, but you of all people should know that this isn't a good idea. Please just put your work away and get some rest." I didn't raise my voice. I didn't provoke him. I just simply stated a fact. Period.

He breathed a sigh, and laid the papers downs. I thought he was going to yell. I though he was going to say something offence. "Yeah, I know…I just have a lot to get done and not a lot of time to do it. It's just tax stuff for the restaurant though." He said, leaning back against the headboard and closing his eyes. I took a step forward and gathered his things as neatly as I could, moving them to my side of the bed. With the open space I moved the tray in front of him just as his eyes opened. He smiles slightly. "Thank you honey. I'm sorry for being an ass."

"It's alright." I smiled to let him know it was just that. Alright.

I'm used to it by now.

"Well, I'm going to go work a little bit." I say while backing towards the door. Right as I turn, he uses his voice.

"You can work in here if you want." I look at him, still wearing those same pajamas. He was sitting up somewhat straight now, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Um, it's okay. I don't want to bother you." I said, reaching the doorway.

"Bella, you're not a bother. This is your room too." He smiles again, to try and persuade me further. I almost caved, until he opened his mouth again. "Besides, it just writing." It isn't what he says—well, yes it is—but how he says it; the way he always says it. Like it was nothing, just a hobby and nothing of importance. Screw that.

"It's alright. I'll make you some lunch later." I then turned just as Remy walked in, prancing away. I didn't see his expression or hear his response. I was done.

I walked into my office, and clicked play on my IPod. Music played through the room; piano, violin, harp creating beautiful music. Then my phone vibrated against the wood of my desk and I knew who it was without even glancing at the screen. A thought passed through my mind: today of all days, another man is making me smile instead of my husband.

Funny.

Only it wasn't.

A light smile formed on my face against my will as my mind drifted away to other placed and things.

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**Please read the note on my blog, for it is very important:**

makeachoiceff (dot) blogspot (dot) com **(Link is also on my page)**

**Please Please Please review! there is much more to come!**

**And Thank you SO MUCH to those of you reading my blog! All of you got a special sneak peek of this chapter and of Those Times!**

***cough* I highly suggest you start reading it *cough* since it is the sister story to this one *cough***

**REMEMBER! I give out sneak peeks on my blog! **

**Love to all and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

_Make a Choice_**  
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	4. CHAPTER TWO the sight

**Open © Make a Choice, 2010

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_Written by Make a Choice_

_Edited by Alice_Cullen223

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**CHAPTER TWO**  
the sight

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The clock continues to tick menacingly across the room; yet another reminder that I will soon need to get up and cook. My phone buzzes, and I along with it.

_That's a bit…ridiculous. Just let me drop by with some food, alright?_ I smiled to no one, my teeth not showing. Tempting as it is, no.

_I don't want you to leave work for me._ I reply with truth. I can't even remember how we got on the topic to be honest.

I slowly slide the phone to the far corner of my desk, then clicking the send button. My nails tap, tap, tap against the wood until my hand flattens. The room becomes silent.

Let's try this again.

The clock shows about 11:30am, and I've only spit out three pages. I'm no further than where I'd been this morning. Looking over them again, I see how dull they are. Real dull.

No romance, no spontaneity, no damsel nor hunk to save the day; just words of description and fillers.

Frustration fills me because I want to work but my mind won't let me. It is unfortunately on other things.

I guess I'm just bored with it. Not writing, just…this. This moment. This room. This feeling. This…normal life that I have created. I'm just bored and ready for something different. If I was optimistic, I would be thinking 'What about your other lover?' instead of whining about how imperfect my life is. And it's true; he does make me feel things. Not just those things, but he makes me laugh…and cry, and frustrated, and annoyed, and see. I feel seen and heard. Amazing what alit effort can accomplish.

Truthfully, I feel like I'm living in two different worlds. At home, with my husband I usually just feel annoyed, hurt, tired, and above all, stressed about everything and…I really need some sleep. But I would much rather suffer here with this blockage than sleep next to my husband. Actually, I would much rather be doing other things.

Speaking of other things, an idea created itself. Pulling my laptop from my bag, I place it on top of my desk and open it to check my email.

Mom. Advertisement. Rosalie. Advertisement. Mom. Mom. Advertisement. Advertisement. No, I do not want to attend a 50+ couples retreat. Advertisement. I stop and click on the last one.

_Alice._

It's just a daily update. If she can't get it out on the phone, it still is heard by me. Or I guess read would be the better term.

_You have no idea how fricken cold it is here. I mean, it's no different than Seattle but it is at the same time. Ya know? Of course you do. New York cold__,__ is not the same as Seattle cold. Seattle cold is like the having the sniffles while standing in the warm rain. New York is like having the sniffles in __a__ blizzard. _That honestly makes no sense, but that's Alice for ya. She doesn't make any sense. _ Anyway, While I was out Christmas shopping for Havon I bought you and Edward a Christmas gift! You are going to love it! _The end.

I quickly type a response then hit send before shutting down and putting away. I shift in the wood of the chair. It has always been extremely uncomfortable, but I just can't find it in me to part with it. Not only was it crafted by Jake's Grandmother, but it is also a stunning piece of art. In the legs of the chair, vines and leaves were artfully carved into it with a wolf popping up every now and again. I know of the legends so it made sense to me. Edward thinks it is an eyesore, but put up with it because I spent the most time here. He has an office at work, and even though a desk resides here with his things, it rarely gets used. Can't say I really mind though.

In High School, Edward used to love my writing. He thought it was magical and different, in a good way. I would share with him my poetry, and short stories and he loved them. Loved. Them. He was the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams and to do what I love. He would ask me questions about beg to hear the ending. Sometimes I would give in, and other times not so much. Evil as it was, his small suffering was a turn on. And it was cute. It made me smile.

But somewhere along the way he 'grew up' and I just didn't.

It hurt now that he's done a complete 180° with his views. I'm just not good enough anymore, I guess. He sees the world with his doctor eyes, and I'm just not tall enough to reach his gaze. I've shared with him how much his words are hurting me, how much they are affect me. My writing is my career. Just like being a doctor is his. It is something that will always be in my life. It is everything to me. Even though I tell him these things, he doesn't listen; just nods and walks away from me, like every other time I try to talk to him. Overall it just confuses me. He confuses me. But then again I guess the feeling is mutual.

Time to hunker down. I stare at the paper. Stare and stare and…nothing. Damn, I hate this feeling. My phone dances, and I see a name. His name.

_Too late_

Confusion comes and leaves just as quickly. My doorbell rings followed by paws and barks. I stand, leaving my career at the table for a much needed break. Once in the hallway, I see Edward exiting the bedroom. "I got it." I say, continuing forward. I don't wait to see if he has listened. I round the corner, up the step and at the door. Twist handle and, see.

"Hey." I grin as he smiles back. White teeth never looked so stunning. His arms were filled with bags.

"Hey." He mimic's me. "Where's Mr. Grinch?" He asks, walking past Remy and I close the door, following him into the kitchen.

"You didn't need to do this; I know how to cook." I say as he places the food down on the counter. My hand connects to his back, and slides up to his shoulders then back down to his waist. I pull us together. A hug, but so much more.

"Yeah, I know. But you should be cooking right now." He says, twisting around to face me and returning the hug. "Besides, the restaurant is boring before 3:00."

"Aw, poor baby. Stuck in a five-star restaurant all by himself. Cry me a river, loser." I say, stepping away from him and going for the food. Unfortunately he is quicker, and grabs me by the waist. I squeal. Edward hears.

"What are you doing to my wife Jasper?" Edward asks with a grin on his face while walking into the room. He leans against the doorway, watching. It makes me uncomfortable. My feet find the ground and I'm steady. Jasper throws his arm across my shoulders and screws up my hair.

"Just putting her back into her place." He says, releasing me. He walks to the other side of the island, to protect himself from little ole me.

"Asshole." I say and he looks at me with something fierce. He raises an eyeball, questioning my challenge. In my mind I picture the old west, with and old man whistling that old challenging tune.

"Watch it woman." Um, no. That's not gonna work.

"You watch it Neanderthal." I say under my breath while taking the to-go boxes out of the bag. Tex-Mex filled my kitchen. Delectable.

"Hey! I don't appreciate name calling!" Jasper said with offense in his tone.

"Yeah, well neither do I!"

"I didn't call you any name that you aren't."

"Bull-shit! Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion?"

"I said woman. W-o-m-a-n. You are a woman, aren't you?" He smirked at me, and I became a tomato. A bright, scarlet tomato. I wish I had something to throw at him in that moment.

Still an asshole.

"Well…yeah…but…it was the way you said it-"

"Bella, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. Especially if you are hearing things. " He grabbed an apple and bit into it while leaning against my counter. I fume until he smirks at me.

"That comment aged you about twenty years by the way." I say before continuing with what I had intended to say. "But fine, Jasper. Keep talking, maybe someday you'll say something intelligent. If not, at least it will be entertaining." I turn my back on him and continue to unload everything. Edward and Jasper start talking business and I completely zone out because I don't really care. I think it is amusing, in a dark way, that these two men are in the same room. Even though they are the best of friends.

Edward and Jasper own a restaurant together. It has always been Jasper's dream to own his own restaurant. So after they graduated from college, they both decided to open up a business. Edward used money from his trust fund and—boom! They were in business. Jacob, by best pal from way back in the day, was the head chief. Edward handles all the business stuff while Jasper does…everything else. It may seem like a lot because it is. The restaurant is all he has left now after everything that happened two years ago.

Images of Jasper back then flittered through my brain. Jasper on our front porch, plastered out of his mind. Jasper at the police station, facing charges of assault. Jasper in the hospital, a shell of who he once was. I could hate Alice for what she did to him, and sometimes, I do. The other half however understands why she left, unfortunately.

"I brought enough for the both of you." Jasper says after I took the soup out of the bag. "I wasn't sure if Edward could eat-eat or not, so that's for him."

"That was thoughtful. Thank you." I tell him with a grin that he returns. No spite, no argument.

"Yeah, thanks Jazz." Edward says after sitting down in the stool. I stop my cleaning and look at him closer this time. His skin looks a bit paler and the bags under his eyes have grown.

"Have you slept at all?" I ask and he rolls his eyes in annoyance with a sigh.

"Yeah." He says, blowing on his soup as it steams. I walk forward an place my hand against his forehead. Warmer.

"You feel a little warmer." As I say this, he moves away from my hand. Hurt plunges into my heart, but I'll live. I always live.

"I'm fine. It's just a bug." He says, taking in another spoon full of soup.

"I just want you healthy again, that's all." I catch Jasper shift in the corner of my eye. I almost forgot he was still here.

"Well, I'm fine, do lay off." He says, picking up his bowl and walking out of the room. Silence etches into the room until I gather my bearings. Before I know it, I'm cleaning up the trash and putting things into the sink. Out of nowhere, a hand grabs my waist and pulls me into a chest. A tear forms and falls.

"Why is he such…such an—" I breath out, on the verge of tears.

"Asshole?" I nod, hugging him back and breathing him in. Earth and leather, all mixed into one. "Because he's Edward. There's always something stuck in his ass." I grin but say nothing. "I'll talk to him." He says.

"Just leave it. I'll talk to him later." I pull away and feel a lone tear fall. Jasper reaches up to wipe it away with his thumb and I grin. "Thanks."

"No problem." He grins. I grin.

"Did you want to stay and eat?" I ask, going back to the food.

"Nah, I have a date with a pretty lady over in New York." I says with a wink.

"Really? Is this something I should be worried about?"

"Nope. She knows all about you actually." He answer, continuing to plan along.

"Really? What does she have to say?"

"'Keep him in line'." That's it and I smile.

"Besides, she's already won my heart."

"Can I lay down here?" I ask Edward. My butt could not handle that chair any longer and the couch just wasn't an option. Remy had already claimed it, the little bastard.

The number of papers has dwindled down, but his speed has not. I bit my tong to keep the words at bay.

"Of course." He says, shifting the papers away from my side. I crawl under the sheets and snuggle into the pillows. Ah, security.

"Do you feel any better?" I test the waters.

"I bit. I was just about to take a nap as well." He smiles my smile, and I return the gesture.

"I guess I just read your mind." He shuts down his computer and moves his things off the bed.

"I think you did." I watch him from my horizontal position, nothing else showing but my mouth up.

Once everything is moved he curls under the covers just like me. He still has his glasses on but I think he forgot. I'll wait to see if he notices.

"So…did you get a lot done today?" He asks, his eyes closing behind the glass. I smirk, reaching up to take them off. Startled, he looks at me then blushes slightly. "Oops."

"It's cool." I say, reaching over to put them on his bed side table. Curling back into position, I answer. "Not enough. I couldn't focus." He reaches over and pulls me to his chest. Warm.

I don't think there is anything quite like this feeling. Loving an asshole has it's perks.

"That sucks." He says in a whisper. His mouth is by my ear and this warm breath is cascading past it, down my neck. He give me a small kiss, right on my earlobe that transcends anything else I have ever felt. Will ever feel.

"Yeah." I say, snuggling into the crook of his neck.

"I love you Bella…I love you so, so much." He says with a final kiss that gives me the shivers. The good kind.

"I know. I love you too." I say, kissing his neck because it is just that beautiful.

Infuriating.

Delecatable.

Insufferable.

Gentle.

Annoying.

Tender.

Stubborn.

Adorable.

Affection .

Confusing.

Maddening.

Mine

Love is not far from hate. But to find one you have to bare the other. Our love is strong enough to handle all that. I know it.

Too bad we didn't know love isn't always enough.

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1. REVIEW**REVIEW**REVIEW**REVIEW**REVIEW please

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**-(Remember, I post previews and other GIFTS THERE (HINT HINT)**

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**4. PLEASE READ 'Those Times'. As you might have figured out, it is Jasper's back story :)  
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**also...**

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**http:/ theoatmeal(dot) com / story / twilight**

_Best wishes to all, and to all a goodnight!_

_Make a Choice_


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